5. You don’t have to wear a v-neck t shirt everytime. You know the outfit. Slim jeans, high tops and a white v-neck t shirt. Over the past year this look has gotten increasingly popular. It’s the hipster meets hip hop look. I’m not saying you shouldn’t wear v-necks. I’m just saying you shouldn’t wear them all the time. Not every social gathering, whether it’s the club, get together, or trip to the mall, calls for the v-neck. It’s 100% ok to wear something else, like a regular t shirt, button up, or polo sans undershirt to the club. I know you think that you’re switching it up because your v-neck is gray instead of white, but at the end of the day, you still wore a v-neck to the club 4 weeks in a row. I’m just saying you shouldn’t wear them all the time. And adding that navy or red New Era hat to the outfit doesn’t change the fact that you’re still wearing a Jim Jones/Red Cafe costume either.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t wear v-necks. I’m just saying you shouldn’t wear them all the time. I know they go good with that new white belt you just bought and it makes you feel like Juelz Santana, but at a certain point, it starts to look less “cool” and more like you don’t know what else to do. I’m just saying you shouldn’t wear them all the time. Have I mentioned that yet?

4. And while we’re on the subject of fashion. I’d also like to say that I don’t think scarves are out of style. Just the ones from last year. For example, the Desert Square Pattern Plaid Scarf with the frayed edges are no longer acceptable in my eyes.

Again, I’m not saying all scarves. Just those. It was bad enough when they first hit the scene, because everyone seemed to get theirs from the same store. Everybody had the exact same one. (Men wore red/black or white/black and women wore bright blue/black or pink/black) But what makes it worse is the people that are just now rocking theirs. I have scarves. I’ll continue to wear them, but I was one of the few that passed on the plaid scarf trend. Something about wearing the scarf with a short sleeve shirt just didn’t do it for me. I don’t judge the ones that did, I just felt like once there were more people in the club with scarves than without , it was time to do something else. I’m hoping, for your sake, your ’09 winter season is plaid scarf free.

3. Karate moves are not dance moves. I know this isn’t exactly something that happens everyday, but it does happen, and the guilty people are unaware of what they’re doing is wrong. And for those who already have something to say, Yes I’m aware of Capoeira. I know it combines dance and martial arts. I’m not talking about those people. And B-boys, I’m not talking about you either. I’m talking about the people who start off dancing in the normal sense of the word and then end up doing a Tae Kwon Do demonstration mid dance. You might be wondering how you can tell if you’re guilty of this. Well if there’s any roundhouse kicks are backflips in your “dancing”, then you are no longer dancing. Martial arts and dancing are both very extraordinary talents to have. And alone, they can be both be impressive to onlookers. It’s when you combine them, that you start to look like you’re unskilled in both of these fields. Keep these separate from each other at all times.

2. On a list of places where dark sunglasses are appropriate to wear, “grocery store” and “gym” are not listed. I have a problem with people wearing shades in the club. Not a huge problem, but I do think it’s a little much because you can’t see very well inside a dark club, so it’s main purpose is to make yourself look cool. But I wouldn’t completely object to this. Alot of our favorite celebrities wear shades in a number of uneccessary shade situations. But I have hope that these situations do not include walking down the canned food aisle at HEB. So this goes out to the guy I saw walking in the grocery store with his chick wearing fake Versace shades because let’s face it…if there’s any place that calls for being cool it’s the grocery store. And I’d also like to comment on the guy wearing shades at the gym. He was sitting at one of the desks speaking with an employee about membership. Not only did it seem rude and greatly inappropriate, but it somehow seems like it should cancel any chances of membership.

1. “You still hoopin? This is a question you might hear if you’ve ever played a game of basketball whether it’s pick up games or for school. Whenever you run into somebody you haven’t seen in a long time, they automically think to ask this question. And it doesn’t matter if you played in high school, one time in P.E. or in somebody’s driveway, these people are convinced that basketball is representative of who you are and what you do. I played in high school and a little in college. And anytime I see somebody from high school, they have to ask.  If everybody based “catching up” on something significant that person did in high school, these meetings would be very awkward.

“Yo you still hoopin?”

“Nah, you still beating up Travis in the locker room?” or “You still playin dice behind the cafeteria and cussing out Mr. Talley?”

Or if you haven’t seen the person since elementary,

“Hey you still drawing pictures of Roger Rabbit?”

“Nah, you still bringing Playboy’s to school and listening to New Kids?”

It just sounds a little absurd to ask those questions. I know playing basketball 10 years after high school isn’t an unreasonable question. Infact, I am still playing ball, but it doesn’t always have to be your “off top” question. This question is usually a sign that the person doesn’t know what to say. And, honestly, it’s ok if you don’t say anything at all, because most likely we already saw you when you walked in and have been trying to avoid you anyway.