Official Age of Ultron Poster Released

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I’m about ninety-nine-percent sure I’m going to love Age of Ultron, and having such an optimistic outlook for the film makes me feel more comfortable with hating this newly released official Age of Ultron poster. Photoshopped movie posters are here to stay, I understand that. Doesn’t mean I have to like it, particularly when it jumps out at you for a number of wrong reasons.

Why does Robert Downey’s head look like it was plucked out of a Futurama head-jar and hastily attached to a robot body? Why is Captain America the only Avenger not looking at whatever’s clearly attacking from his right, which is why everyone else on the team is looking in that direction but him? Come on Cap, you’re the leader, pay attention! Three o’clock! Why even bother with having Fury on the poster if he’s just going to hang out in the corner looking like they already lost the battle? What… the hell… is Black Widow doing? Why is she in a karate stance to fight super flying androids? Doesn’t she have guns? Use those! Or did she upgrade to MCU Power Gloves? Is that what’s on her hands, or is she actually The Last Dragon who posesses the power of “the glow?” Because that would be incredible, actually. Damn it, now I’ll be disappointed if that’s not the case.

The quality of a movie’s poster is not that big of a deal, obviously, especially for a movie as big as Age of Ultron, which needs no further promotion, and can make a billion if all the of the remaining marketing for it was just a reminder of the release date. Still, I hate to look at a poster and get the distinct impression that the people paid to create it also think “It’s just a movie poster, it’s not that big of a deal. Let’s just throw everybody on there and get outta here.” We all know the cliche: 1 picture = 1,000 words. This poster is the equivalent of repeating, “Who cares, they’ll watch anyway,” two-hundred times.

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J. Compton is an author whose stories have appeared in Pseudopod, Arkham Tales, Fantasy Scroll Magazine and other publications. As co-host of the BNC he hopes you enjoy the site and only asks that you please remember to use coasters.