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Blu-Ray and DVD Releases: American Reunion and a Bunch of Stuff You’ve Likely Never Heard Of

Blu-Ray and DVD Releases for July 10th, 2012

These past couple of weeks have given us all ample time to catch up on movies and TV shows we haven’t got around to seeing, since the quantity and quality on the new release front has been sparse at best.

This Tuesday we have American Reunion, a raucous, raunchy comedy about a bunch of actors who aren’t getting work anywhere else (Alyson Hannigan and Sean William Scott excepted). It flamed out at the domestic box office, barely scraping back enough to cover the production budget, but raked in dough overseas. Apparently, jokes consisting entirely of guys repeatedly saying MILF and sub-subplots involving friends banging each other’s mothers never get tired across the pond. Next time you’re online and some European dude shits on the Hollywood scene, tell him we only keep making the same movies over and over again because people on his side of the planet can’t get enough of it.

Then call him a son of a bitch.

All of the other film releases this week are for smaller, lesser-known films of varying quality and potential. The only other significantly popular release of any kind is for iCarly – Season Four. I know absolutely nothing about iCarly, except that everyone once in a while I’ll see someone on Facebook talk about how they won’t let their kids watch anymore after some joke they considered age-inappropriate, and that it once paid direct homage to The Wire. And just…wow…a Nickelodeon show that pays homage to Mike and Snoop’s final exchange? Man, I don’t care how inappropriate it might occasionally be, this show immediately deserves to be on the air forever.

Other major releases this week: Margaret, On the Ice, Being Flynn (Deniro’s latest return to serious acting via indie film) and  the “super-serious subject matter, tasteful-joke-proof, atrocity movie of the month,” The Flowers of War.

  • Margaret has been sitting on the shelf since 2007 due to the director wanting to roll out with a three-hour long cut of the flick, and the studio saying “We need you to cut that, b.” A lengthy stalemate ensued, and in the meantime, the film’s lead–Anna Paquin–has gone on to star in True Blood and become Anna Paq-win. Or, alternatively, Anna Paq-“When is her next nude scene so I can fast forward to that point on the DVR?” Point being, maybe this movie will benefit from featuring her on the cover now (and from a cut that trims it down by about 30-minutes) than it would have as a 3-hour behemoth five years ago.
  • On the Ice is a respectable indie thriller about a couple of Alaskan teens who murder their friend during a seal hunt gone wrong, then have to cover it up, which seems like an extra-difficult task in the frozen arctic, where you can’t bury a body and all that ice is just going to preserve the shit out of the evidence. Or at least that’s what I learned from watching the fifteen-minute pilot of CSI: Anchorage.

Next week: The Stooges, “Space Jail: The Movie,” and a Spanish-speaking Will Ferrell come to home video.

About J. Compton

J. Compton is a horror author whose stories have appeared in Pseudopod, Arkham Tales and other publications. He is co-creator of the BNC, and a generally cool dude.

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